Man, I sure do miss you. Today is Coulter Christmas... it won't feel like Coulter Christmas at all without you there. I know there will be lots of laughter and lots of tears thinking of what it would have been like with you there with us. Please know we will try to be happy, but that we are all aching almost nonstop every single day. I can't believe you're gone!
I'm sad that I kind of missed out on our last Coulter Christmas with you. Our stupid brakes broke down, and I'm sure caused you a lot of stress, and we made it but so late! We didn't even make the family picture last year. So now when we look back through all of the Coulter Christmas's over the years, it will seem like my last one with you was 2014. But then I will remember that we stopped somewhere near Kalamazoo and got out of the car and Nick immediately said "can you please call your dad?" (Like he always does.) And I did - I called you right away (like I always do!) and said "Dad, when I feel the wheel on the front driver's side, it feels hot and the rest all feel cold, what does that mean?" and you said, "Well, something not good, I think you need to stop and get it checked out." And then 4 hours later we had new brakes, and not just the pads, the whole new rotors, too. For like the the 3rd time in 4 years!! That stupid car! But we finally made it to Aunt Jackie's, and when we got there I remember her telling me she saw tears in your eyes that day, tears that said you were missing me and worrying about me. Well, we have our trusty "beamer" now, and as long as we are careful I think she'll get us there safely, so you don't have to worry!
I'm sorry I always stressed you out on my drives... remember that time I drove from Boston in the snow storm near Buffalo and I called cuz I couldn't see a track or light or a thing in front of me and you MADE me stop at the the rest stop. So Riley and I slept in the car with the doors locked with you on the speaker phone for 2 hours just listening to us while we slept out the storm, just to make sure no one stole us. And of course, after a little bit of sleep, the snow stopped and I was on my way, home safely in almost 20 hours! And thats reason number 11 of about 5 million why you are the best dad in the whole world.
I really almost don't even want to do this today. I will probably go out into the smokey garage to find you, because that was really the only reason I ever wanted to go out into the smokey garage, and then realize you're not there. I will watch the brothers gift exchange, and be thinking the same thing everyone else will be thinking, "I can't believe Tim's not here!" And I'll try to help mom gather everyone for the group pictures, because I know she will have a hard time with it, too. Everyone will be missing you, Dad. I'll hug everyone extra tight for you. Love you so much.
Love,
your baby girl
always & forever
Christmas 2015
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